It's Gone, Going.. Gone.

I've been an all-over-the-place thoughts kind of a person all my life.
To be quite honest, I have no idea where my loyalties lie, I'm not too sure what that says about me.
Skipping the part where I doubt myself majorly, I'll move onto the important stuff.
One question each one of us struggles with: What is happiness? How do we find it?
It's not an easy answer, not easy to find, and definitely not too easy to understand.

Happiness is simplicity. Happiness is satisfaction. Because, never can you be 'happy' if you remain unsatisfied.
Happiness, therefore, comes with self-acceptance. You can't be happy, or even a thousand miles within, if you can't learn to love who you are.
So, tell me this: how will you find happiness with that one person that constantly makes you feel insufficient? This person that makes you feel like your smile isn't just the brightest thing ever, like your eyes aren't the most beautiful irises, full of life. Like your tears aren't wet enough, like your words aren't read-worthy. Like you aren't worth it. Because love itself is acceptance, and if that doesn't exist, know this- you have no reason to believe that it is love.
How will you find happiness with all that wealth? For one day, when you may be deprived of it, you may be left broken and tattered like that old pair of jeans you threw away for the new ones that cost thrice as much? What about when your resources exhaust themselves and isolate like that old bag, the one which you threw in the dumpster for that expensive Louis Vuitton?
Material thing will leave you. They aren't forever. They will cherish, just like this much-alike 'happiness', that isn't even so in the first place.
It doesn't matter where we came from, or how we came here, as long as we're true to ourselves. As long as we did the right thing.

There's a song by the Black Eyed Peas. Called 'Gone Going' featuring Jack Johnson.I strongly suggest you listen to it, it's a beautiful and meaningful song.
Here's my fave parts, just two don't worry:
"Cause, what happens when they take your material,
And you already sold your soul."

"All that money that you got gonna be gone
That gear that you rock gonna be gone
The house up on the hill gonna be gone
The gold purse on your grill gonna be gone
The ice on your wrist gonna be gone
That nice little Miss gonna be gone
That whip that you roll gonna be gone
And what's worst is your soul's already gone."

Ouch man, right in the feels.

Anyways, Keep Calm, Stay Rad and Peace Out! *zaps herself into thin air*
*zaps back* also guys, don't forget to comment, it would mean a ton! and check out my Instagram page, official for And She Wrote. @shejustwrote i'm gonna post random stuff but follow anyways? Keep reading thankss loveyouuuu<3 

Fun Things To Do In The Vacations.

Well, vacations can be boring without your friends, or boring in general. Oh dear, have I experienced that. Every vacation I go live with my father, and every time I bore my brains out.

So, what makes this time different?

Here's the answer~ I have a list of fun things I can do!

Wanna know what these are? Yes? Alright, then. (No? I'm gonna tell you anyways so hold on tight lol.)

*Some of these are gonna be pretty lame but I'm fourteen and I bet they're fun anyways so please bear with me thankyew*

1. Learn how to play the drums.

2. Learn how to play the piano.

3. Learn how to play the guitar(if you don't already know, unlike me).

4. Learn to play the bass.

5. Learn to play the ukulele, because it's such a cute little version of guitar you could just eat it up lol.

6. Join a band.

7. Meet new people.

8. Join dancing classes.

9. Dance.

10. Sing.

11. Join a band temporarily if you can.

12. Download those apps that allow you to record your voice and create songs, or like the karaoke apps. Even if your voice sucks, much unlike mine, do it because it's fun.

13. Paint your room.

14. Paint. Make canvas paintings. Even if it means writing your name in weird colours in a weird handwriting.

15. Keep a diary. Write things that interest you, people that interest you.

16. Go meet new people, Meet cute guys.

17. Flirt your brains out. Lol I know, but do it.

18. Skate. Buy a pair, and do it.

19. Swim.

20. Go trekking. If you live in that kind of a place, trek thrice a week. 

21. Go adventure sporting. It's always fun and you can go with your friends, family, guy-you-met-on-the-way-here-but-seems-interesting-so-you'll-just-tag-along, whoever.

22. Go to the kennel, volunteer to work there. Playing with dogs all day long, who doesn't love it?? They're cute and fluffy and they bark and you could just cuddle them awwh. 

23. Take up part-time jobs. Work at the local library, the kennel, take up an online job as a writer for a magazine maybe. 

24. Take up an internship. Even if it means shredding papers and sharpening pencils or getting coffee, you can always dress up in a dress-shirt and formal pants and be all formal and cool. 

25. Take pictures. Take lots and lots of pictures.

26. Start a YouTube channel. Interview people, strange events, put it up. That can always be fun, and it doesn't even require much effort.

27. Go Shopping. Dear Boys, IT CAN BE FUN. DO IT. IT WILL NOT MAKE YOU GAY OK.

28. Cook. Take up cooking or baking classes.

29. Do stuff that excites you. That depends on you really, what further excites you.

30. And, oh, the last thing. Don't remember to have fun!

Well, yo. Keep Calm, Stay Rad and Peace Out!

Parents. *Sigh*

There are things that are just better when they aren't known to anyone.
Why keep a secret? Because, isn't that a lot like lying?
It is.
Invariably, people consider it lying.
But, is it a lie when you don't actually actually tell it?
No, this isn't a trick question alright.

One thing I have learnt, it's important to tell the truth to your parents if you wanna have an adult relationship with them.
But don't ever, I repeat, EVER let them in on the little white lies.
Whether it's taking a puff off someone's cigarette(though you coughed a lot and never did it again), or whether you took a swig of the beer bottle lying almost-empty at that family part.
Whether you had your first kiss, or your first.. you know. But girls, DO tell your mum or dad if you get your first period.
I mean, if you do end up telling them any of this, you just get egged on, you know.
Like, it never leaves. You've got to hide your face in the household.
But I guess its better they get to know of it from you rather than getting informed by someone else or even worse- catching you in that dark alley, all messed up and smoking a joint.

This was all over the place, really shitty advice, it's a half past midnight, and I have nothing to apologize for.
So, Keep Calm, Stay Rad and Peace Out!

She. [Part I]

She had been hurt and slashed to pieces.
And so, she lay there, scattered on her bathroom floor, blood dripping from her wrists, stomach and thighs, from the wounds that had been left due to the incisions she had made.
She heard a pounding on her bedroom door, a sound so distant and unreachable. She knew it was her brother, but she didn't worry, for she knew he would soon leave.
The banging finally stopped, and she wiped a few tears from her cheek.
She tried standing up, and with all her strength, she stood up after hours. She whimpered from the chill in the air, covered only by a singlet and her underwear. And she stepped in front of the mirror.
She almost stopped breathing, what she saw was terrible: her hair was a wild mess of tangles, her face was hollow from eating so little, her arms and legs trembled, blood all over and cuts marking her skin.But her eyes, they were the worst. Her eyes held the demons.
It was depressing to see what just a boy could do to her.

She fought the urge to go back into hibernation, for it was time for dinner.
And so, like she had been doing for the past few days, she slipped on tracks and a hoodie, elongated the sleeves to a point where she looked like an unkept, sad scarecrow.
She headed down the stairs, playing with the sleeves of her hoodie.

Dinner went by as usual, she played around with the peas in her plate, barely eating anything. She had half the steak, though, which she would later puke up into her toilet. She watched as her parents talked, as her brother laughed, and as their dog, Bob, wiggled his tail and barked. But she just sat there, smiling occasionally, but she was dying on the inside.
"I won't wake up," she half-wished, muttering to herself, like she did every night before sleeping.

And yet another torturous day lay ahead of her as she walked to her Law class, clutching her books close to her bosom, avoiding any unnecessary attention.
She hated every bit of it. She hated having to hear the taunts.
She hated having her best friend 3000 miles away from her.
She hated having to face her culprit every single day.

"Hey." And yet, he manages to pretend like nothing ever happened, like the party was just great, like he didn't do what he did.
"Go away, Max," she said, gritting her teeth. He swung his arm around her shoulder, grinning. She bit down on her lip to the extent that she could feel the sweet-sickly taste of her blood pool in her mouth, just to keep herself from crying.


  

Happy.

Give up everything else and look around,

Is it still the same place that you'd want to be?

In an alternative universe as compared to this one,

Is this still the same person you'd aim to be?

You'd think that this is all, 

This is the ultimate achievement,

But bare your all, and make the call,

In these material things, do you still find contentment?

There is nothing that exists for sure,

Nothing is permanent,

Life is a joke, so laugh through it,

Everything else is just an illusion.

The hands will slip away,

Just as the bonds will fade,

Everyone and everything will disappear someday,

The memories only serving as a source of pain.

So fight for the finer things in life,

Things that will make you strive,

The people that love you for you,

And anything and everything that brings joy to you.

Be Happy, It's All That Matters.