Atelophobia

See, everyone wants to be different, don't you think so?
Everyone wants to be unique, and noticed.
Everyone wants to be remembered.
And in this race to the top, everyone is trying to be different.
Not themselves, but different.
Different in a rebellious sense, that would get people to notice.
And amongst all of this, the few real people that somehow hold onto their true identity, get labelled terms such as 'fake', 'weird' and 'loser', by those that are in the desperate need for attention.
What people don't understand is, if everyone is different in the same, monotonous was of an unusual being, then what, in the true sense, would then be odd, different and noteworthy in this world?
Everyone would dress the same, talk the same, walk the same, make the same, do the same, and all of this, in order to be different?
It's a paradoxical world we live in, and a contradictory nature that we portray.
If you can't see yourself for who you are and find yourself worthy of the attention of people, then why, even upon changing your habit and ways drastically, would someone else see something in you that you, yourself, didn't?
Your body wants to be loved, but by you.
The soul constantly seeks salvation, and not the kind that comes to you after death for being a good person your whole life.
No, not that, this salvation is one of a different kind. This salvation is peace, that comes from within. The kind of peace that could take all the stones pelted at you, for just knowing that the amount of hate you will receive is just a number, or an approximation of some kind.
For numbers fail to define one.
We are what we do, man is a creature of his actions- past and present.
This salvation comes only with the acceptance and love for oneself, it comes from the feeling of oneness with your mind and your soul, and more than just that, the feeling of being enough.

The term 'atelophobia' is very scarcely known to the common masses. It means 'the fear of not being good enough'.
How many of us feel that way? How many of us feel like we aren't good enough?
Not smart enough. Not pretty enough. Not skinny enough. Not fat enough. Not handsome enough. Not fit enough. Not accepted enough. Not loved enough. Not talented enough. Not respected enough. No popular enough. Not funny enough. Not enough. 
Well, let me just remind you- labels mean nothing.
It's okay to break once in a while, it's okay to need the occasional fixing.
If everything was flawless, beauty wouldn't exist. 
And that is what makes imperfection, perfection in a sense that it was supposed to be ever since the dawn of humanity. 
Everyone deserves to feel loved- loved by yourself.
So go, go and love yourself some, and then a little more. 

Valentines Day

You know how it's really easy to go all angry and destructive on someone?
Like you throw a vase at them, and you tell them how much you hate them?
You know how good it feels?
Well, it feels better when you can just let go. When you just sit there, not taking their bullshit.

There have been so many things that have gone wrong today; that would have made me wanna tear my hair out.
But, I ignored it.
And it surprisingly felt better than an outburst would have,
I mean, what couldn't go wrong with Valentines Day, right?
Especially one without a Valentine.

I guess Valentines Day only hurts when you suddenly, have someone to miss.
Someone you imagined as being with you, spending this 14th day of February watching a movie with you, or at the beach. Taking adorable selfies, and saying you love each other.
And then, they aren't there,

Valentines Day is to celebrate love. Then why do most of us mourn it instead?

There's so much to be angry at. So many people. So many things that you could blame.
So much anger that exists, everywhere.
I guess what I'm trying to say is.
You want me to be angry?
You want me to cry and throw a pillow at you and tell you how I loved you so and you broke me entirely?
You want me to spend my days telling my friends how much I hate you and how you haven't replied to me yet?
You want me to be angry?

Well I'm tired of being angry.
And I'm tired of being broken.
I'm trying to fix myself up.

Valentines Day just makes you lonely.
Don't feel it. Don't give in.
There are so many people out there that can't get one square meal.
And we spend this one day crying around and moping about that one ex that we can't get our asses over?
That's wrong.

Because I am not defined by love.
I am not the man I love.
I am not the disease that lives inside me.
I am not the cuts on my hand, and I am not the number of people I have been with.
I am the guitar that I play.
I am the books that I read.
I am the music I listen to, and I am what my heart is made of.
It is I, that defines who I am.
And not love.
I am not a pathetic single person that is angry about being alone on Valentines Day.
I am a strong individual, on Valentines Day, and I am proud to be single.

Bottom line is: Valentines Day sucks unless you have your significant other with you.

Eccedentesiast

I bet you hear her laugh,
Loud and clear,
Like music to your ears,
I'm sure it's a beautiful thing to hear. 
But I doubt you notice the dried tears,
From hurting all these years. 
Every little thing, helping her drift away to a different place. 
Every little thing putting her to waste. 

Confessions of an Internet addict.

I hate slow things. Who doesn't right?
Slow talking, slow people, slow phones, slow laptops and most of all, slow internet.
It really bothers me a lot.
Slow internet.
It's the worst thing that can happen.
And I get that some people don't get that; call me shallow, stupid and naive.
But for a person that blogs so much and chats a lot and who is addicted to Sherlock and other online shows, it really is a nightmare.
It's like, you click on the link, and then why don't you go nap by the time the stupid page loads?
Oh, I have a new message on Facebook? Sure, I think I'd sleep by the time it loads, and then oh, replying is another pain.
I just feel so frustrated and angry I just wanna pull my hair out sometimes because slow internet.
And it's like, God some people just don't get it, you know? Like, how do you not hurt because of it?
I get so impatient and just ugh.
Well. I guess I am a bit of an addict but.
Goodbye bc slow internet.