I am a fourteen year old girl. As you must know, teen girls are fussy, throw tantrums, obsess over their hair, take loads of selfies, live off of the internet and phones. There are two paths this post could take- in the first, I say I'm not like that. I say I'm Miss Goody Two Shoes, and move on to say how perfectly I do things. In short, I could lie.
And in the second one, I say I'm exactly like that. I obsess over my hair, wash it once every two days, tie it when I go to sleep so I don't have tangles in the morning. I have a brush, a normal comb, and a wide toothed comb. I like trying new hairdos. I don't like it if anyone touches my hair or messes it up. If you do, you better run for your life I'm on your case now. I'm being serious right now, yes. I take so many selfies, honestly, it's not even funny. Go ahead, look up my Facebook or Twitter. My mother is sick of my selfies, and my phone storage is full. I had to delete some really good ones, too, recently. Aw, shame it is. Anyways. I am fussy. I don't like it if anyone cleans up my room. I cannot live without my laptop, it has my music, and most importantly, my stories. I cannot live without my phone, please that's common sense. Ditto with my iPod.
I go with the latter.
But, you know, I wasn't always like that. There was a time when I was Miss Goody Two Shoes. I listened to my mum and never threw tantrums.
But all of that changed in one year. In the year 2013, when I turned thirteen.
I started being a pain in the bum teen. My grades went lower and lower like a mountain slope- a steep one, at that.
Everything changed for me. In January 2013, I wanted to be a dancer and perform on Broadway. In June 2013, I wanted to sing.
It's funny how life can turn upside down all the way through in just four months. Take it from me, I have experienced it.
For me, dancing was escape. But I soon realized, dancing is to obtain perfection- the right mudras, et cetera. I'm not criticizing the art, I just wasn't that kind of a person, I'm still not.
I used to learn Kathak, and I told my mum I wanted to quit. Everyone tried to get me to continue, but I had my mind made.
And after that, for three months, I just didn't know who I was. Dancing. That was all I knew of myself, and now that I wasn't doing it anymore, what was I supposed to do?
It was like floating around in space, with no gravity to pull you back home. It was looking down at my hands and just wondering, "where am I?" The worst part was questioning myself. "Is this who I really am?"
All that disappeared soon enough.
One day, just sitting in my room. I looked around myself and saw a mess of a person. I sighed, and looked around once again. And then I saw something. Something, through the thick mist. I got up, and walked towards it, and the fog started to clear. And the moment I picked it up, I knew it is my identity.
The guitar is my identity.
So, I started learning the guitar. It's such fun. Each string means something, each is a different voice. Each hits a different note with such beauty. It's medicine to the ears, really. To the soul, too.
And then everything started going back to normal. Well, not really, but I started to be... okay.
My thirteenth year. It's the year that I looked into the mirror and I wasn't the same girl anymore. And the thing is, I felt no regret or remorse looking into that mirror. I felt good. Because you know how people say you never know what you have til you've lost what you have? I lost myself.
And then I realized, I hadn't. I realized that, 'I'm just thirteen. If anything, I may have just found who I really am.'
When you give everything up. Throw it all away, you're still gonna be left with... YOU. Your soul, the real you.
You can never lose who you really are. It's always gonna be there with you as a part of your soul.
"Just be true to who you are."
And in the second one, I say I'm exactly like that. I obsess over my hair, wash it once every two days, tie it when I go to sleep so I don't have tangles in the morning. I have a brush, a normal comb, and a wide toothed comb. I like trying new hairdos. I don't like it if anyone touches my hair or messes it up. If you do, you better run for your life I'm on your case now. I'm being serious right now, yes. I take so many selfies, honestly, it's not even funny. Go ahead, look up my Facebook or Twitter. My mother is sick of my selfies, and my phone storage is full. I had to delete some really good ones, too, recently. Aw, shame it is. Anyways. I am fussy. I don't like it if anyone cleans up my room. I cannot live without my laptop, it has my music, and most importantly, my stories. I cannot live without my phone, please that's common sense. Ditto with my iPod.
I go with the latter.
But, you know, I wasn't always like that. There was a time when I was Miss Goody Two Shoes. I listened to my mum and never threw tantrums.
But all of that changed in one year. In the year 2013, when I turned thirteen.
I started being a pain in the bum teen. My grades went lower and lower like a mountain slope- a steep one, at that.
Everything changed for me. In January 2013, I wanted to be a dancer and perform on Broadway. In June 2013, I wanted to sing.
It's funny how life can turn upside down all the way through in just four months. Take it from me, I have experienced it.
For me, dancing was escape. But I soon realized, dancing is to obtain perfection- the right mudras, et cetera. I'm not criticizing the art, I just wasn't that kind of a person, I'm still not.
I used to learn Kathak, and I told my mum I wanted to quit. Everyone tried to get me to continue, but I had my mind made.
And after that, for three months, I just didn't know who I was. Dancing. That was all I knew of myself, and now that I wasn't doing it anymore, what was I supposed to do?
It was like floating around in space, with no gravity to pull you back home. It was looking down at my hands and just wondering, "where am I?" The worst part was questioning myself. "Is this who I really am?"
All that disappeared soon enough.
One day, just sitting in my room. I looked around myself and saw a mess of a person. I sighed, and looked around once again. And then I saw something. Something, through the thick mist. I got up, and walked towards it, and the fog started to clear. And the moment I picked it up, I knew it is my identity.
The guitar is my identity.
So, I started learning the guitar. It's such fun. Each string means something, each is a different voice. Each hits a different note with such beauty. It's medicine to the ears, really. To the soul, too.
And then everything started going back to normal. Well, not really, but I started to be... okay.
My thirteenth year. It's the year that I looked into the mirror and I wasn't the same girl anymore. And the thing is, I felt no regret or remorse looking into that mirror. I felt good. Because you know how people say you never know what you have til you've lost what you have? I lost myself.
And then I realized, I hadn't. I realized that, 'I'm just thirteen. If anything, I may have just found who I really am.'
When you give everything up. Throw it all away, you're still gonna be left with... YOU. Your soul, the real you.
You can never lose who you really are. It's always gonna be there with you as a part of your soul.
"Just be true to who you are."
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